Finding Rest In the Arms of Friends

These past few months have been hell. I've been utterly exhausted beaten down, brought to my knees, and brought to tears. Life had sucked every last bit of me into this black hole. Circumstances in my life were destroying my will to live. I was lost. I was gone. I was stuck. Hope was a fictional word to describe a fantasy that would never happen. There were days when I could not pull myself out of bed. Days where the most I could expect from myself was to keep breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Some days all I could was pace and walk endlessly to nowhere. I wanted company but didn't know how to cope with the crowd. I wanted to talk but couldn't form the words to say anything. I wanted to read and escape to another world, a different life, but found myself too distracted. I was so desperately searching for the peace I could never find. It was an endless game of hide and seek when it came to my moods and emotions. I didn't understand it...
I still don't understand it. I still struggle. Everyday. Everyday is a constant battle with myself. I still play hide and seek. I'm still finding my way through. But when given the choice between heaven and hell, I choose heaven.
The fight is long and tiring. But that's exactly what I am going to do. Fight. And with the help and the encouraging words I believe I can pull through another day.
The relief I have found in my friends arms has been so remarkable. I have felt the healing power of your words and actions. Each "Keep going.", each hug, and each shoulder cried on. I have such amazing friends and I have to thank you all. You are so kind. So patient. Thank you for accepting each apology. Thank you for being here for me no matter how difficult I am. Thank you for loving me. Know I love and appreciate you all. You are my lifesavers. You are all doing such amazing things and I want you to know I am proud, amazed, humbled, honored, and so blessed to be able to call you my people. You inspire me to take on another day. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx