October 2013- After being set up by a friend and it going horribly wrong I vowed that I was going to wait until I finished school to even think about dating. I was over it. I was not interested. I was so busy working 20-25 hour weeks with a 16 credit work load at school that this was not something I felt like I needed to pursue. At least not until I had a little more time on my hands and had more patience to deal with men.
October 28, 2013- My friend, who had originally set up the other date, thought it would be funny to post a personal ad online.
October 29, 2013- Emails flood my inbox. I read a couple for kicks but get tired of it and emptied my inbox...
Later that day I had a little time on my hands so I was just checking my accounts. I had a feeling to look through my email trash. It was similar to the feeling that I got when I was prompted to look through the trash for that job application (for a job that I got when I first moved to Salt Lake City). I couldn't ignore the prompting. It worked once maybe it would work again. So I went to my trash not knowing what I was looking for. I said a little prayer and clicked on the one I felt I needed to look at. I opened it. The guy who responded wasn't exactly my type and nothing really stood out to me but I couldn't ignore the feeling to respond. I put it off for a few minutes, trying to reason with myself that it was a bad idea, surfing the internet, opening every tab but the one with his email. After a few minutes I couldn't deny it any longer so I opened up the tab and sent a quick message. Didn't reveal any details or anything, just responding to his question to tell him more about me with a simple "What do ya wanna know?". Little did I know that this was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Of course he responded right away. We talked back and forth over my birthday off and on but it was my birthday so I had my family to tend to. He asked if we would want to meet in person so I agreed that I was open to spending Halloween with him (The next day.).
Halloween Night- He shows up on my doorstep. My roommates aren't home yet but I invite him in anyways. We exchange small talk as I try to find a movie that we could watch. We settle on A Nightmare Before Christmas. I start the movie, keeping the lights on, and placing myself on the couch next to him but still putting a little space between us. After all, I didn't really know him but I was eerily calm. Halfway through the movie his hand crept over and I was now hyper-aware that his hand was on my leg. My roommate walked in and was stunned. We exchanged glances and she later said that I had a look of total shock and nervousness on my face. The movie ended and he perked right up, not moving his hand, and asked excitedly "What now?". It was only about 9:30ish so I knew if I sent him home now he would know that I was blowing him off. So I suggested we take a quick walk around the block and go from there. We set out to take our walk and immediately he swung his hand into mine. I couldn't tell whether he was nervous or excited but I figured it was a mixture of both. When we reached the other side of the block he stopped. I figured he was stopping for trick-or-treaters so I took a couple of steps ahead. He still had my hand and didn't let go so I didn't get far. He pulled me back and kissed me. KISSED ME!!! I had known him less than 3 hours and here he was kissing me! I was caught completely off guard. I broke the kiss and his reaction was priceless. He kind of had this sad look on his face so my immediate reaction was to crack a joke. I didn't really think it through so I said "Oh... Hahahaha. Is that all? Hahaha..." I pretty much asked for it but I was still shocked when he went in for another kiss. ( After a couple weeks of marriage I got up the courage and asked... I was indeed his first kiss.) I nervously laughed, broke the kiss and suggested we get me back home. I made the excuse that I was so tired and had a very busy day the next day, which wasn't entirely untruthful... But I was really just looking to get the hell out of there! My pace was just a step under a run. We got back to my apartment in record time. We stood on my porch for a split second before I broke away. I thanked him for an awesome night and ran through the door not looking back. My roommates noticed right away that I was rattled. I told them. I explained to them that I was never going to talk or see him ever again. They talked me into seeing him again and that he deserved a second chance. I mean, he was probably a good guy, right? I shot him a text telling him thanks again and that I would be in touch.
(From that day on we didn't miss seeing each other for one day... From the time we spent that first awkward night together to this day we have only not seen each other for 3 days.)
November 3, 2013- It had been 4 days. 4! The night before I had explained to Clay that the next day I would be heading home to Orem for an early Thanksgiving dinner with my family and roommates. I also explained that I wouldn't have time to see him and that Mondays I head back to my family's right after class and that I wouldn't get see him then either. He was soooo disappointed. His head dropped and he was so sad. I knew my mum had told me I could invite anyone I wanted so I figured that if I invited him home to meet my family that he would run for the hills. To my horror, he perked right up and he not only said yes but volunteered to drive... At promptly 3 o'clock the next day he showed up on my doorstep, eager and ready to hit the road. Long story short he met the most important people in my life over the course of 2-3 hours, because of course mum had to call the grandparents over to meet pretty much the only guy I had ever willingly-ish brought home to meet the family. AND my hell... HE WAS MORMON!!! They fell in love with him pretty instantaneously and he seemed to be comfortable and in his element. We started on our journey home and when we reached my apartment I let my roommates get out and promptly turned to face Clay. I had been brainstorming ways to let him down easy because in my mind this was all too quick for me and I wanted to run for the hills. I had to make it seem like his idea. My idea? Tell him about my dark past and I was sure that I wouldn't be the one running for the hills. We went to the overlook of SLC and I unraveled my less than 'righteous' past. He nodded with the occasional 'uh huh', listening intently. After an hour or so I ended my devilish stories. I explained that that was me and it was a part of me, take it or leave it. I was sure he was going to leave... Nope. I suggested that it was time for me to go back so he drove me home. As we sat in the car in front of the apartment I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I was so conflicted and confused. Clay didn't hesitate to reveal a part of his past that he was clearly ashamed of. People opening up to me is pretty much a given so I wasn't surprised. He looked at me and he was so defeated. I could see the sorrow in his eyes. I felt for him. After taking a bit to think about it as we walked around temple square and as I sat at the feet of the Christ in the visitor's center I knew what I had to do. I knew what to say. I just told him simply that everyone makes mistakes and that he hadn't judged me for mine so who was I to judge him for his. His face lit up and I could have never anticipated the next words that came out of his mouth. "That is EXACTLY why I LOVE YOU!" I am positive that all color left my face and Clay often describes the look of complete terror on my face. My reaction? I thanked him nervously, threw open the door, and ran to the apartment. I couldn't get through those doors fast enough. (Clay later told me he sat in the car banging his head on the steering wheel for at least 10 minutes.) Again, I panicked as my roommates talked me into giving him a second chance. Everyone could see what a great guy he was but anxiety clouded my judgement.
The next day after laboring over the conversation with my mum, trying to justify ditching him, she simply said that if being told that I was loved was the worst thing that had happened to me in the last 24 hours that I sucked. She encouraged me to open up to him. So I sent him a quick text telling him we needed to have a talk and that I would be home around 9-10 o'clock. His next text was: "I'm on my way." He got to my home within 35 mins, and didn't even have to ask for directions. We were walking in my home neighborhood and I wrestled with the idea of telling him that I loved him. I knew I wasn't there yet but I felt like I could say it. So I did. He almost passed out. He let out a sigh of relief and exclaimed that he was sure that I was breaking up with him. The first thought to cross my mind was, "We're in a relationship?" but I let it go. (I was also his first girlfriend.)
The next day he had off so right after class he came around. We drove to the Brigham City temple. I had never seen it and walking the grounds of the temples kinda became our 'thing'. On the way back he simply stated that his aunt lived close and he wanted to take me home to her. I had never met any of his family. IT WAS ONLY THE 5TH DAY I HAD KNOWN HIM!!! Despite that "minor" detail there we stood on her doorstep. After getting to know me a little bit, his aunt started directing her questions to him. I was just relieved that I got off the hook for a minute. I sat there in my own thoughts not really paying attention to what was being said but Clay's next words basically snapped me back into reality. "I'm gonna marry this girl!" WHAT?! His aunt quickly picked up on my distress and cautioned Clay to slow down. We left shortly after that. I was dead silent the rest of the way home and I made the now classic move of running to the door as soon as the car came to a stop.
My calls home had been frequent. I was so conflicted. In my heart I knew for some reason I needed to stay but I wanted nothing more than to just bolt. I was doing everything in my power to justify leaving. Mum shot down every excuse. It was so very clear that he was in love with me and truly cared but all I knew is that God was telling me to be patient and stay. So I did.
Later that week mum called and informed me that there was a sale at Khol's. I explained that I had no money and that it didn't matter. She went on to tell me that I needed to tell Clay that there was a sale on rings. I almost barfed but I knew that if I didn't tell him, she would. To make a long story short we had a ring picked out by the end of the night. I was scared out of my wits and I think I was more bedazzled than sure. Clay had a date picked out to pick up the ring that I was not allowed to know. You know for an element of surprise? :P
November 12, 2013- We had just had dinner at Texas Roadhouse and we were headed up to the Bountiful temple. We walked around and as we rounded the scenic side he slows down and says "It's been a great day. You know what would make it better?" and when I turned around he was on one knee. I hid my face and I was in shock but I said yes. Just 13 days since we had met and here I was standing on the temple grounds where I would be sealed for time and eternity in just a short 3ish months.
February 14, 2014- With lots of patience and a lot of persistence on Clay's part... I became Mrs. Brenna Ayesha Moore Yaranga for time and eternity. No regrets.
